


Hugging It Out

by hallow777



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A little angsty at first, A lot of comfort, F/F, Fluff, Sweet, a little hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 10:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallow777/pseuds/hallow777
Summary: Sometimes all someone needs to hear is "I'm sorry for hurting you."Or: Please God Someone Give Lena Luthor A Hug.





	Hugging It Out

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll the angst is killing me. I know its a good thing they are going to work out their problems but the CW is great about dragging out the angst and I won't survive the journey.

How had they gotten here?

Years of friendship dangling on the edge of ruin all because of one lie.

No, she knew it was bigger than that. She hadn’t just lied to Lena once. She had lied to her repeatedly, over and over again, keeping a part of herself hidden. It didn’t matter that she had originally had good reasons, it had gone on way too long and she wasn’t sure how to save this.

Save them.

Could they even be saved at this point?

How could they ever go back to how things were when Lena was across the room from her, trying to put as much distance as possible between them in Kara’s small living room, refusing to let the tears gathering behind her eyes fall even after she had spent the last however long yelling and thoroughly letting Kara have it.

She always used to feel bad for the businessmen she had watched Lena cut down with sharp words and even sharper wit but Rao she never thought it would be turned on her. It was brutal.

Lena might be stubbornly holding in her tears but there was nothing Kara could do to stop the rivers running down her own cheeks. She thought it was best to let Lena get it all out, everything out in the open so maybe she would have a chance to explain herself but now that she was done yelling, Lena had completely shut down.

Kara had started to try to explain but Lena wasn’t listening. Or rather, maybe she didn’t want to hear.

She was pretty sure the only thing that had kept Lena from walking out the door and ending this already was that she would have to go past Kara to do it.

She didn’t know what to say that could fix this and she was afraid that the truth might be that there _was_ no fixing this.

Damn Lex, if only he hadn’t told her maybe things would be a little different. If she had had the chance to tell her and break it to her gently without Lena keeping it to herself for weeks, no doubt thinking the worst about why she lied, maybe it would have been better.

But that’s the thing isn’t it? If she had just told her a long time ago none of this would be happening right now.

Maybe even if she had told her on the plane it could have been different. It wouldn’t have been the best time, but maybe there never was going to be a good time.

She should have told her after game night like she had swore to herself she was going to do but it just… never happened.

Girl of steel she may be but when it comes down to it, to telling Lena the truth, she was a coward and now they are both paying for it.

She didn’t know how to make this right and apparently her silence wasn’t helping either as she heard a heavy, tired sigh escape Lena’s lips before she started moving towards her.

Or rather, towards the door.

“I should get going. Goodbye, Kara.”

At any other time that would have been a normal sentence but the way she said “goodbye” had Kara’s heart dropping into her stomach.

This was really it, wasn’t it?

If she went out that door, Kara knew deep down, she would never see her again. Not really anyway. Either she would go back to being a super busy CEO with no time for anyone until they just drifted completely apart or she would just up and disappear. Lena had the money, she had the power, she could move L-Corp wherever she wanted and manage it from wherever she wanted.

This was it. This was really the end.

But it couldn’t be.

She couldn’t let this be the end.

Lena was past her now, almost to the door before Kara sprung into action and quicker than the human eye could see, she grabbed Lena’s arm and- gently- pulled her into a hug that immediately had Lena freezing.

“Let. Me. Go.” Her tone had the same biting tone to it she was using earlier and Kara knew full well she shouldn’t be touching her without her consent and this may completely backfire and make it worse but she had to try.

She had to do _something._

“Dammit, Kara. Let go of me!” She tried to push away but of course it was like trying to push a solid steel wall away as Kara held on a little bit tighter, purposefully trapping Lena’s hands against their chests because she knew Lena would start hitting next and while it wouldn’t bother her, she didn’t want Lena to hurt her hands.

“Let me go before I make you. I designed your suit's kryptonite shield, I know exactly how to get around it.” The panic was clear in her voice but Kara was sure she probably did have a way to hurt her if she really had to. It should have scared Kara but instead it just made her sad and finally start talking again.

“I am so, so unbelievably sorry and you have every right to be mad at me but please just listen for a minute. Please? If- if our friendship meant anything to you these past years please just hear me out. Please.”

Lena, who had been still for a few seconds when Kara started talking, immediately started struggling out of her grasp again with a scoff. “Meant anything to me? Are you fucking kidding me? We didn’t have a ‘friendship’ what we had was a lie. Are you afraid you won’t be able to keep an eye on me for Superman anymore? Or-”

“No!” Kara interrupted with such force that Lena swallowed the rest of her sentence. “You are wrong! That’s why I want you to listen to me for just a minute. I let you say your piece earlier so please, let me say mine. Don’t you want answers?”

“I don’t,” Lena replied flatly but she had stopped struggling to get away so Kara continued on while she could.

“It was never about keeping an eye on you, well we did come to see you for the very first time because you were supposed to be on the Venture when it exploded but I knew by the time I left your office that day that you were good. Our friendship was NEVER about keeping an eye on you.” Kara lifted an arm from around Lena to wipe at the tears that had dried on her own cheeks. After what seemed like hours she had finally stopped crying, knowing this was her only chance to get Lena to listen to her even if Lena still hated her by the end of it. This was her shot.

“If you don’t believe anything else I say tonight, you have to believe that it was never about that. At first I just thought you were interesting and wanted to get to know you more. You came into town about the same time Ms. Grant was leaving and I was honestly kinda freaking out, she was such a role model for me and without her, I may have given up being Supergirl a long time ago it was really hard at first. So I wasn’t sure what I would do without her and then you were there, another cool strong CEO woman I could look up to and then I ended up jumping head first into reporting and had no idea what I was doing and I’m not going to lie to you anymore, I did kinda use our friendship at first to get my foot in the door of reporting. I don’t know if I ever would have gotten an inch with Snapper without you letting me interview you.” Kara took a deep breath. She knew she was rambling but it was hard to stop with so many emotions rolling around inside of her.

“Please believe that, if nothing else, our friendship was real. It wasn’t a lie. There were some things I couldn’t tell you about but it was real.” Kara could feel Lena’s hands bunching up the fabric of the cardigan she was wearing and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“I could spend all night tell you why I did what I did and I’ll answer any questions you have, I’ll tell you everything and anything that you want to know but first I want to say I’m sorry.”

She could feel Lena tense up again at that so she held on just a little bit tighter, lowering her head until she could smell hints of the honey oatmeal shampoo bar that she knew was Lena’s favorite to use.

“I don’t- I don’t think a lot of people have sincerely apologized to you in your life so before anything I want you to know that I am very, truly sorry for what I’ve done to you. I had good intentions but that doesn’t matter, I still hurt you by keeping this from you and for that, I am sorry. Sorry that I waited so long to tell you. Sorry that you had to go through all that with Lex. Sorry that he had to be the one to tell you because I was too much of a coward to do it myself.”

Lena was starting to tremble in her arms but she kept on.

“I am sorry for hurting you. You didn’t deserve this. Any of this. _I am so sorry_.”

Suddenly, Kara was supporting all of Lena’s weight as her legs seemed to give out on her and the long held back tears finally started pouring out of her eyes. Kara’s shirt and cardigan were getting soaked and ruined from the makeup Lena was wearing but Kara didn’t care.

She just held her tighter.

And when it became clear that Lena wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, she carefully floated them over to the couch and gently eased them down awkwardly onto the couch until she ended up scooping up Lena’s legs and placing them across her lap so they both weren’t all jumbled up on the couch since she didn’t seem to be letting her death grip on Kara’s clothes go anytime soon.

That was perfectly fine for Kara though. She didn’t know what this meant but Lena wasn’t bottling up all her feelings anymore so that had to be some kind of good sign.

They sat like that for a long while, Lena sobbing into Kara’s chest while Kara held her close, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time she would be this close to her but savoring and memorizing every moment in case it was.

Eventually her sobs slowed down until she was just sniffling softly and Kara heard a very faint voice.

“Thank you.” Kara was about to ask what for when Lena continued, “for apologizing. You’re right. I don’t think anyone has ever really told me they were sorry for something and meant it.”

“I meant it. I really do. I never intended to hurt you but by the time I realized that I should and could tell you, it was too late. I knew it would hurt you so I kept putting it off, hoping for a ‘right time’ to tell you.”

Lena was silent for a few seconds before she spoke again. “What do you mean by ‘could tell me’? Do you mean when I could be trusted with your secret?”

“Hmmm sort of? But not really. This is going to sound strange probably but I knew you could be trusted after you switched out the isotopes on your mom but it took me a little while after that to realize that I could just tell you.” She couldn’t see Lena’s face since it was still pressed against her shirt but she could feel the eyebrow raise.

“I know, I know. Sounds kinda stupid when I put it like that but I honestly haven’t told many people about me being an alien-” Kara was interrupted by a loud scoff but continued on. “-seriously. I promised I wouldn’t lie to you anymore. I’m not lying now. There are a lot of people that know but I didn’t tell them. Alex and my adoptive family know obviously because Kal-el was basically like ‘hey I don’t know what to do with a pre-teen alien why don’t you raise her’ and that was that. I did tell Winn but that was right after I saved the plane Alex was in from crashing and I knew if I was going to be a superhero I would need someone to help me and at the time I didn’t know anything about the DEO so I told him because I needed his help. And there were a few other people I’ve told but only because I needed their help or for them to do something. James already knew because he was pretty much sent here to keep an eye on me for Kal-el and everyone else figured it out on their own, either because I’ve messed up around them or they are aliens too and could tell. I know Alex and Eliza meant well but for a while there, before I became Supergirl, I just kinda figured I would never be able to tell anyone. As a teenager trying to picture my life in the future I just assumed I would never even be able to tell the person I marry. It was just something that was drilled into me that no one could find out I was an alien so yeah… It took awhile to realize I could just tell you. It was never really about trust.”

Silence again as Lena thought about what to say.

“No more lies?”

Kara nodded her head enthusiastically, forgetting that Lena’s head was basically tucked under her chin and ended up bumping her causing her to finally lean backwards and look at Kara with a tear-stained, make-up smeared face.

“No more. I mean it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

It was Lena’s turn to nod.

“Okay.”

Kara didn’t know what that really meant but past the redness of her eyes she could see that Lena looked more… settled? Maybe?. She knew she wasn’t forgiven just yet, maybe not for a very long time if ever but it was a good start.

There was a lot more they needed to talk about, things to explain and questions to ask but when Kara finally loosened her hold on Lena’s waist and Lena only shifted so she was sitting beside her on the couch instead of getting up and walking out, Kara figured maybe there would be time for that later.

Things weren’t ever going to be the same but when Lena leaned her head against Kara’s shoulder and yawned before drifting off to sleep, Kara realized that that was okay.

That maybe, just maybe, things could be even better with no more secrets holding them down.

But that wasn’t something to worry about now. Right now, all Kara was going to worry about was safely floating them over to the bed so that Lena didn’t have to wake up with a crick in her neck and maybe they could both get a well deserved night of sleep.

Things were going to be okay.

They were going to be okay.


End file.
